It must be strange to live in a constant cacophony of anger; of a persistent and unrelenting fire pit, where demons jump from ashen glowering of hot red coals to roaring flames of unceasing rage, and back again and yet for more, ever fuming from the slights and hurts both imagined and real, but never able to escape from the corridors of one’s own making. It is, in the end, an emotion of self-destructive turmoil, perpetrating a defiance of civility in order to engage in the ultimate self-immolation, but without honor or quietude, and thus left with the emptiness of seppuku without meditative resilience.
You see people like this all around; of venom and unpredictable vicissitudes of hate; they spew their wares on the Internet; always the first to comment, the last to leave well enough alone, and forever stalking the weary and witless in a universe of those seeking friendship. Perhaps it is merely a show of frustration seeping from a life of powerlessness; or madmen crying desperately for help in a world devoid of empathy or compassion.
Whatever the cause, it is always the effect which is felt by all; and never merely a sidebar where forgiveness can be sought or shown, but only the moonlit loneliness of ineffectual calm where the wisp of rising smoke from the dying embers of passion unrequited remains alive, if only to survive another day. It is seen and witnessed in the workplace, as well. Is it the Napoleonic complex? Does the show of weakness only provide a further impetus for greater cruelty? A quiet word of free advice: Unless there is a compelling reason to tell, don’t.
For Federal employees and U.S. Postal workers who are in the process of preparing, formulating and filing for Federal Disability Retirement benefits through the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, whether the Federal or Postal employee is under FERS, CSRS or CSRS Offset, it is often a false sense of loyalty and misguided honor that compels the Federal or Postal employee to “tell all” before the appropriate and necessary moment. But that is where reality often clashes with one’s own conscience; for, always remember that people are more complex than first thought, or more likely, of greater simpleton than mere deception can achieve.
The “crazies” are out there; never underestimate that your own Supervisor, Manager or co-worker is “one of them”, and may be that unidentified stalker who lurks in the shadows of midnight owls who stare with unblinking eyes in the veil of anonymity; for, in the end, the insular world of anger remains like the hidden embers kept warm under the concealment of ashes left unspoiled, waiting to singe the fingers which reach unknowingly to begin anew the raging turmoil of a vengeful heart.
Robert R. McGill, Esquire